How to Enjoy Valentine’s Day If You’re Single

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How to Enjoy Valentine’s Day If You’re Single

After the success of publishing her eBook last year, she actually is taking the content and turning it into a full online course that will walk singles through every step of writing their profile, choosing the right people to message and crafting personal messages that will get guaranteed in full responses. Charlie is looking for 6 OkCupid experts to beta test this part of the course and her refine the methods. There are many sections which can be under development and right now it will only be available in the online course and to the 6 lucky users in the beta group. If you are interested in being one of the six people, please CLICK HERE for more details and email Charlie Nox personally at [email protected] with answers to the specific questions she provides on her blog. Thoughts? Let me know in the comment section below!  Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook5Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Advert Hurdles. One definition of a hurdle is: difficulty or obstacle: a difficulty or obstacle which includes to be overcome. Another definition is: an expert sexual maneuver perfected and tested by LeRoy Jenkins Sr. in the Epic Porno Classic ‘To @#$% and @#$%^ a @#$% bird.’ Fortunately for you, dear reader, we’re focusing on the first definition. Relationships, hell, just dating, provide us with many, many hurdles. Obstacles that must be crossed in order to evolve individually and together; these hurdles manifest themselves in different ways: sometimes in the form of jealousy over time spent with friends, sometimes in the form of furious anger over leaving the toilet seat up again.review ashley madison Those, however, tend to be confrontational in nature and not every hurdle falls into this category. I have a set of obstacles, a course really, that is in place for any woman that I must have coitus with. Yes, I said “coitus,” and I used it because it seemed like a good idea!

Moving on… My obstacle course is varied and balanced. Some random girl from the bar doesn’t need to run this course that I’ve devised. Nonetheless, the gal I intend to take home to mama does! First off, I test for open mindedness and, also, strength of conviction. I understand that I’m not going to agree with my woman every time. It’s okay for her to be wrong, when she doesn’t agree with me (see what I did there?). I’m okay with it. Does she bend to easily or does she follow her innate/genetic predisposition to be wrong? Ladies, men will respect you more if you follow your guns, even when you’re wrong… which is likely to be every single day ending in “Y.” The next test is the friendship compatibility test. Could I tolerate her friends and enjoy my time with them? Do my friends tolerate my new love interest? This area of the course has multiple parts, you see. The first group of friends are the ones I spend the most time with. If these people don’t approve of her then what do I do?

Do I stop hanging out with those people? Highly unlikely; the thought the following is that there are other, more compatible, fish in the sea and that I’m pretty talented at finding them. If she passed that first wave of friends, then that’s a good sign. The next phase here is to find the quirky and weird friend that could or may not have grown up. This friend is a potential powder keg waiting to go ape shit on you and the new beau. “Hey, that sort of thing NEVER happens,” you cry. I know better. Once upon a rainy drunken Tuesday night, I brought a girl with me to a bar to meet up with a friend of mine. This “friend” managed to be very drunk and very “playful,” if you will. He was able to plant his face into my date’s cleavage, brought up another girl I’d not-so-recently stopped dating (my date was a little miffed at the time because she thought I was seeing another woman and barely ended it, which wasn’t the way it is). At the end of the night, my still fuming date helped me drag this guy to her car for the long ride home. Yep, he vomited in her car, in what was a nice solution to cap an incredible evening of torture and assorted crap. I have one final test. It’s friend whose opinion I trust.

They shoot straight and tell me the truth; the things I don’t want to hear. Typically, this involves dinner with the friend in question, perhaps a jaunt to the local pub, giving them the chance to speak about how amazing I am. There, of course, are specialty obstacles in my course. Sex is very much a hurdle to be cleared, as it’s a great indicator of physical chemistry. I’d say that most women would rather don’t have any sex than bad sex.

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Am I right, there? For us guys, we’re just REALLY happy to “be there.” Joking aside, sexual compatibility has a huge impact on a relationship’s success. Trust me, you notice it when it isn’t there and it’s only a matter of time before some one gets dumped. Whether we’re aware of it or not, we all have “hurdles” and “hoops” that we make our potential long term lovers jump through.  It’s just the nature of the compatibility game. What are some of your hurdles? What crazy things have you learned during the whole courting process? Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox!

Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dates & Details Tagged in: Dating You’re scrolling through Tinder. Swipe left. Left, Left, Left. And then Right! What made you swipe right? It’s probably because something about their profile picture spoke to you. These are the 12 types of profile pictures you’ll often see on Tinder and these are the tips (or lack thereof) of what direction to go about them. 1. The Selfie This is by far the most common and most exploited! It can look effortlessly flawless on one hand, whereas done wrong, may be super tacky. Too many of them consist of the following: gym, bathroom mirror, car seat. Pick an interesting place and any other expression besides duck face. Please.

2. The Half Nakey Show lot of skin in your profile and people are certain to get it! And if that’s what you want and aim for, then all the power to ya. But if not, you can always strategically find pictures that are as equally as attractive. Don’t underestimate the power of mystery. Less can really be more sexy when done right. Bring out those curves/abs and the style with finesse. 3. The Anonymous This is the user that hides either behind a quote, meme, or blank software. This person never shows their full face.

Just seems very, very sketchy and even if that person were private, where’s that appealing confidence!? 4. The Pet to produce guys look ‘portrayed’ as innocent and sweet. Also could just be there because he or she is indeed a Cat/Dog/Bunny parent. Use this sparingly. Swipers might such as the pet more than the pet owner after all. 5. The Prize This could be a picture of a collegiate diploma, a grand fish you caught, a meeting with a celebrity, a shiny luxury car, a breathtaking nature scene, some fancy cake you made, various other attractive person, a daring stunt, a trophy, etc. It really boils down to what you actually value and it will inadvertently give that impression whether you want it or not. 6. The Couple I need to put this one as a disclaimer photo because they appear on Tinder more than you imagine. The one poly couple or the married couple that wants to explore what’s around. Yeah, they exist. So if you swipe right, you swipe for them both! 7. The Influenced “Influenced” aka under the booze, 420, or smoking butt. If 3 out of 4 of your pictures are images of you, at the bar under flashlight photography, one’s probably not thinking, “Yeah, this one’s an introverted recluse.” Be mindful of what you want to convey honestly. Including your each day habits.

8. The Chameleon This can be easily filed under “The Anonymous” because it begets the same reaction. Though, this is distinctly about someone trying to hide behind another—whether that is a twin sibling, another friend, and a huge group of friends. Come on! Just stick out on your own! Tinder’ers want to you anyway. 9. The Foodie Need I explain more? Your Tinder is probably mostly Instagram photos of your foodie adventures. 10. The Crowd This very telling in that the Crowd you put on display is the social crowd you most value. Is the ‘crowd’ your household, your esteemed colleagues, your frat, your soccer team, your arm candy, your clients, or your fellow bar hoppers?

11. The Photo Shop The senior photo. The photo shoot. The monochromatic or sepia tones. The ambient lighting. Nice to have these photos in the mix. Just make sure to include some photos of you in real-life natural lighting. Makes your profile seem a lot more authentic and well-rounded and so attractive. 12. The Original This is the certainly picturesque photo in that it’s one of these above 11 types but with a twist. Like…it’s a selfie of you, wearing stylish boots, on the Alps with your two good friends and pet wolf named Skylar. I mean can you get more original than that?

If you had the time or that IS your daily life, yes. If not, try a Little more. All the best, Tinder-ers! Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook5Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating, Opinion, Tips & Advice Tagged in: tinder, tinder dating onlinedating, tinder tips for guys A lot of guys go into clubs KNOWING they need to stick out. It’s a loud place and it’s hard to make yourself heard.

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Having a way to convey social status in clubs is mandatory if you would like increase the rate with which women respond to you. Ok, so showing up with 2 gals by your arms or sitting the VIP lounge is enough to attract attention. But what if you can’t pull this off? There’s a simple way to stick out in every crowd ( for now) and it is called style. Some refer to it as fashion but that’s not exactly the case. There’s just one catch. In order to make it work, you need to do it right from the beginning.

You have to be open-minded to new ideas before and not dismiss them just because your initial impression was not the right one. That being said, let’s get started with the 5 style tricks that you can use right now to catch female attention in any club. #1 Wear a patterned shirt in a light color. For instance, a white shirt with black microchecks or a light blue shirt with thin dark blue stripes. The white is there because you need to stick out in the dark place all clubs are. The pattern is there to stand out from all the other guys who are wearing white shirts or t-shirts. The last thing you want is always to look like every other guy. To take things further, how about a pair of chinos? Khaki, blue, red or green will work, you just need to make them use your shirt. So let’s say you found a white shirt with thin green stripes. It is possible to match that with a pair of dark green chinos, or you can wear it with dark gray pants, a black waistcoat and a light blue pocket square.https://topadultreview.com/ We’re just playing with colors here, repeating them even though they have different levels of intensity (martial match). # 2 Wear at least 2 accessories Anyone can throw a pendant or a bracelet but very few guys take it further and add a second one. There are two grounds for this.

One of them is that they afraid of what people might think of them. Let me tell you right away that you’re going to a club and the more you stand out the better. In fact, since it’s dark inside, it’ll be harder to notice both your accessories so wearing 2 inside a club is like wearing one outside. The second one is that they don’t know how to match them. That I can help you with. A few easy examples include wearing 2 bracelets of the same color, one on each hand (make sure they have different designs though), A more complicated example implies a red pocket square and a pair of red cufflinks. Take a peek: #3 Wear a hat Hats may not be appropriate indoors but a nice fedora will definitely cause you to noticeable in a sea of guys all dressed alike. Plus, they’ll add a few inches to your height instantly. Now, awarded, not everyone can wear them therefore the best way is to just try a few of them. I recommend you try on a few fedoras as they have the best looking shape and so they fit most head shapes. But you don’t want to stop here. You can try to match the hat to your outfit. For instance, when you have a black fedora, how about wearing a black waistcoat, black shoes or perhaps a black shirt? It is possible to take things even further and add a black leather bracelet. Or, if you’re lucky enough to find a fedora that has a side band of a different color than the rest of the hat, it is possible to just match that with something as crazy as a pocket square.

Up to you.   Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook6Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Fashion Tagged in: how to dress for a club, how to stick out to start with, while I come never to praise Fifty Shades of Grey, neither do I come to bury it. The bashing and dissecting of its prose style as well as its depictions of D/s relationships have been completely done, sometimes to excess. Whatever its flaws might be, if the Fifty Shades makes you feel a nice, sexy glow in your nether regions, that’s fine. Embrace the fantasy and enjoy it to your heart’s content. But one word in that last sentence is critical to keeping your sex life healthy, pleasurable, and safe: fantasy.

Above all else, the Fifty Shades trilogy is a fantasy. Acting it out in actual life is approximately as safe as if I were to act out my lifelong fantasy of being Spider-Man by putting on tights, jumping off the tallest building I could find, and trying to shoot webs from my wrist. While I might be able to provide a sterling example that yes, a free-falling mass does accelerate towards the earth at 9.8 m/sec2, that’s definitely not what’s been driving my fantasies of webslinging since I was a wee lad. # One of the leading criticisms of Fifty Shades has been that Ana and Christian’s relationship is manipulative, abusive, and that he regularly violates consent. Betty Mars and Bastard Keith covered most of these criticisms more cogently than I can in their review last week. Even if you acknowledge that as the reality, the fantasy can nevertheless be compelling. If you are interested in trying out BDSM for the first time, there are lots of approaches to take action safely and pleasurably, and a lot of resources to help you do so. When you ask most experienced kinksters what the difference is between BDSM and abuse, they will almost always give you some variation on a single answer: “BDSM is consensual.” The problem using this answer is that it’s both correct and depressingly inadequate. Consent — sexual or otherwise — is highly complicated. Even individuals who have been in the scene for years have heated debates over it, and sometimes they get it wrong.

As a primer to thinking about the issues of how to protect yourself while acting out your secret evil desires, I would recommend that you look to the comics. Specifically, this comic by Erika Moen and Abby Howard condenses a lot of basic advice in to a very small space: Have your first meeting in a public place, don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable, and in case you’re acting as the dom, periodically check in with the sub, whether they use their safeword or not. When I was thinking about this piece, I talked to Ernest Greene, a well-known adult film director and the Executive Editor of Hustler Taboo. In the name of full disclosure, I have a business relationship with Ernest; I edited and published his new erotic novel, Master of O as part of my day job at Daedalus Publishing, which specializes in books about kink. The sex in Ernest’s book is pretty graphic and intense, but in all cases, the consent of all parties is enthusiastic and clear. “In BDSM, consent is more than just the absence of ‘no,’” he said. “It’s not obtained by manipulation or overcoming resistance. It’s a freely given, enthusiastic affirmation of a need to take part in specific activities… No matter what roles people may choose to adopt for purposes of mutual enjoyment, for consent to be meaningful it must be an expression of mutual desire between equals.” The most important point in that passage is this: consent is greater than a “yes” or a “no,” or whether the sub uses their safeword or not. It’s a process, not a simple action. Saying “yes” isn’t consent whether it’s given because of badgering, intimidation, threats, pressure, or humiliation; it’s useless for a sub to truly have a safeword if they’ve recently been made to feel like they’re failing their dom by using it. As BDSM has moved more towards the mainstream, we’ve seen more examples of abusers that have tried to disguise their abuse as kink gone wrong. One of the more notorious examples happened last October, when the Canadian DJ and interviewer Jian Ghomeshi was fired by the CBC when it turned out that he had a habit of beating up his dates. Ghomeshi initially tried to claim that he was being persecuted for his private sexual preferences. The problem was that Ghomeshi hadn’t bothered negotiating consent with any of these women; he just took them home and attacked them.

In at least one case, he’s charged with choking a woman into submission. I’ve known people who actually would start thinking about choking or suffocation something you do on a really hot date, but implicit in that form of scene is a huge amount of trust. For such a potentially scary and dangerous scene, the partners would almost undoubtedly negotiate it in detail ahead of time; the sub makes sure they feel comfortable that the dom knows what they’re doing, and will stop if the sub shows signs of being in trouble. The dom, in turn, would make sure that they understand how far the sub is willing to go, and pay careful attention for signs of distress whether or not the sub makes a safe-signal or not. Choking somebody without an explicit agreement and careful attention to their safety isn’t kink; it’s assault. Even in BDSM circles, breath play is one of those things that will make many kinksters flinch. Most will approach such play with extreme caution, if at all. There are even those, like author and educator Jay Wiseman, who thinks it can’t be done responsibly under any circumstances. In a more recent incident, Mohammad Hossain, a student at the University of Illinois at Chicago, was arrested on charges of raping and beating one of his fellow students. He allegedly told the arresting officers that he was re-enacting scenes from the film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey. Whether Hossain got the idea from Fifty Shades or that’s an excuse he came up with out of last-minute desperation doesn’t really matter. According to the woman, they hadn’t negotiated any such scene, and when she pleaded for him to stop, he held her arms down and raped her. Hopefully I don’t have to explain why this isn’t even remotely acceptable. # The bad news is that kink communities often have similar problems dealing with consent and abuse as people in the mainstream. Although kinksters are renowned for having endless, heated debates about the ethics of consent and safer sex methods, the reality of how those ethics are put into action can be very different.

one of the more outspoken activists on the issue of abuse within kinky communities and the need to respond to it really is Kitty Stryker, the co-founder and editor of Consent Culture. Besides her own material, Kitty features a great resource list gathered from around the Internet on consent issues and support for abuse victims. When abuse happens within a kinky community, the victim faces some extra issues. Not only do they face the usual slut-shaming and speculation that they might be making the whole thing up, but the very fact that it happened in a dungeon or at a sex party can close off plenty of potential avenues. Going to the police may not be an option for people who are trans, queer, poor, or identify with other alternative sexualities or genders. Counselors and therapists might interpret an interest in BDSM to itself be a sign of mental illness. BDSM communities themselves often fail to support their members that have survived abuse by other members. This is partly because there’s still huge amounts of stigma against most sex that’s not strictly of the cisgendered, heterosexual, ten-toes-up-ten-down type, and meaning that drawing attention from the outside world can have consequences.